This text concerns parents and guardians of children at any age…
My life, dead ends, mistakes, and successes have brought me to the present day, having dealt with people who suffer from eating disorders for many years.
For the first time today, I wish to talk about anorexia nervosa…I do not want to mention the criteria or When and Who can have this diagnosis. After all, a mere Google search would readily produce this information. I want to speak through my experience with real-life examples from my cases.
Anorexia has no educational, financial, family, or other criteria
It is a condition in which the patient (for they actually are patients) ceases to enjoy everything, and let me elaborate…
A simple comment such as those mentioned below may trigger a person’s descent into anorexia. Everything mentioned below are actual comments that girls have heard from individuals in their immediate environment, mainly parents and teachers.
“You have to shed a few pounds to wear shorts!”, “You have to lose a few extra pounds to become a good dancer”, “Be careful not to become fat because no one will want you”, “You look like you’ve gained some weight”, “This girl’s legs don’t fit underneath the school desk” (so she is overweight).
All these comments are part of what some girls experience, which imprint the idea that in order to be accepted, perfect, loved, or pretty the way society dictates, they have to get into a never-ending state of food deprivation….
I don’t know if I want to get into the physical symptoms too much. Google might be a good source of information about them too. What I actually want to shed some light on is the sentimental side to this. These children suffer not only from hunger, but also the fact that they believe that they are not enough.
They are not enough and food deprivation seems to be their punishment for this, but at the same time, perhaps their only way to become enough in their fogged mind. They isolate, lie, hide food, cut social interactions off, experience agitation and anxiety, have bad sleep quality and guilts.
Guilts about anything, even the mere idea of eating. They starve, but their fear of becoming overweight is so intense that even though they crave it, they will not even touch food. How far does this go? There’s no apparent limit. Not until their parents or guardians become sensitised.
The children do not have control of their own lives.
These children experience denial regarding their objective physical condition and are negative towards any form of treatment.
So, this is the turning point for any parent who has a child facing difficulties in food consumption. This is the point where the parents need to take control of their child’s life. To restore the child’s life to a normal, heathy one.
Parents cannot be healers, they can only be what they already are: the child’s PARENTS, and caretakers under the proper guidance from a Nutritionist/Dietitian and Psychologist specialized in eating disorders. Parents are the ones who apply the specialists’ instructions.
What I often hear from parents is “we cannot be there for our child during meals. We work during lunch.” But if they want their child to be treated, they need to actively participate in their child’s therapeutic plan, as it has been dictated by the specialists.
Yes, it is highly likely that they will have to make changes to their daily life. They will have difficulties mainly on a mental level. But let’s try to imagine how these children live. They are highly likely to lose their life to this condition and this should be enough to motivate us parents to do whatever it takes.
Therapy is based on the parents
So, if you have a child who faces difficulty in food consumption, I want you to know that treatment is based on you to a large extent.
All members of the diet-coaching team are here to train all parents on how to act, and to support you on the difficult path of your child’s treatment and help the child itself get on the way back to a full recovery.
The goal is one: for the child to start living a normal life again and to be healthy. To enjoy food, company and life in general…
P.S., if you are the parent of a child suffering from anorexia, don’t stand in the sidelines. Contact a specialist and prepare to get back into a process of your offspring’s rebirth, as an anorexic child is not fully alive. You, as the parent are called to act and become an aiding member of the team of specialists aimed at bringing your child back to life.